Autistic Hedgehog

Thank you. :)

But you are ignorant. Far be it from me to avoid calling a spade a spade. You’re ignorant, and many people like you are ignorant.

I do NOT have to take the high road. If people are such ignorant, self-absorbed douchecanoes that they can’t handle being called out for their ignorance, intolerance and hatred, that is not MY fault. Why don’t THEY take the high road instead? Why don’t THEY stop the name-calling, the misinformation, the lies? Why don’t THEY stop calling for our elimination? It’s my responsibility to wag my tail like a puppy and barf rainbows for the people who oppress me? NO.

You tell ME to stop making fun of people? Hello, have you paid attention to a damn word that’s been said? No, of course you haven’t, you’re convinced you’re right and you think you have some sort of right to go around telling people how to feel and act when people oppress them. YOU DON’T. Am I making myself clear?

This is not about people not sharing my views. This is about people whose views are WRONG. And anyone who invalidates my opinion because I was “mean” (waaaaaaah, cry harder, losers) is a worthless sack of shit anyway.

P.S. Get the fuck out of my inbox, you’re not welcome here.

I’ve been a bit surprised by how much people loved that response, but I’m glad it means something to people. Here I was just letting off some steam after a morning putting together queries. XD

Done. :)

We spew hate? We spew hate? I don’t think you know what hate is. 

Hate is being burned to death on your 18th birthday because you’re autistic. 

Hate is being drowned at the age of four because you’re autistic.

Hate is a long list of people like you who were killed for that same thing that makes them like you.

Hate is the way we’re taught that everything about us is wrong, abnormal, broken, dangerous. 

Hate is the way therapies like ABA are used on us, forcing us to do things we don’t want to do, things that are painful and even traumatizing, so we can behave in a way deemed “acceptable.”

Hate is parents who hold us down or hit us when we have meltdowns, who punish us and allow us to be punished for behavior that is perfectly normal to us. 

Hate is people who spread lies about what causes autism, hate is anti-vaccers who would rather see children dead than autistic. 

Hate is people who want to “fix” us, to “cure” us, to wipe us off the face of the planet without ever asking us how we feel about it first. Hate is dismissing us, silencing us when we say “No, we’re not ashamed of who we are.”

Hate is whining incessantly about your autistic brother/sister/cousin/whatever without ever trying to understand them. Hate is ignoring people who are actually autistic and who know what they’re talking about, because somehow being the sibling of an autistic child makes you a bigger expert on the subject. 

Hate is using autism as a slur, calling people who like My Little Pony or Pokemon or any number of things autistic as an insult. 

Hate is you having the fucking gall to come here and try to tell me how to act, think, and feel about the way people treat me every day of my life.

I’ll tell you what hate isn’t, though. Hate isn’t oppressed people being unwilling to coddle your poor widdle feelings. Hate isn’t oppressed people refusing to let you stomp all over them and silence them. Hate isn’t oppressed people refusing to let you stigmatize them, stereotype them, or support the idea of wiping them off the face of the earth.

No, that’s just you getting what was coming to you for your intolerance. For your hate. Piss off. 

This is something of a complex topic, I think, and not necessarily something I have enough information on to really give much advice. At this point, the best I can say is: You have to do what feels right for you. If this is actually causing you real distress, then you’re not going to be more unhappy with a few less friends. And I know from experience that that can be hard to absorb and it can take time to accept, but it really is true. 

I know this sort of thing can be difficult, but no matter what, it’s always best to be informed about the realities of any charity organization. Something that appears on the surface to be good may not be so when examined from another angle. No one should remain silent in cases like those. Especially when it’s so hard to get people to listen in the first place. Every voice is valuable when it comes to shutting down horrible organizations like Autism Speaks. 

If you want to intervene, you will face opposition and you may not succeed. But if you change even one mind, you’ve achieved something, which is very important to remember. Start by getting as well informed as you can about why Autism Speaks is so bad. This post is an excellent place to begin in that respect, and even lists alternate and preferable charities. Ask for permission to print out this information to pass around, or email links to the people involved in raising money at your school. 

A very important thing to remember: Autism Speaks feeds on the same fears that anti-vaxxers and alt-med gurus do. They target parents who were given no hope by the psychologists and psychiatrists involved in diagnosing their child, parents who have to fight with crappy systems that refuse to provide what their children actually need, and with an overall field that is still very uneducated and incompetent when it comes to understanding autism. 

This makes it much easier for them to paint autistics as a burden, as a problem that needs curing, when its society that needs curing. It’s society that makes things burdensome with its inflexibility, it’s lack of compassion, its strict adherence to “normalcy.” Find information and a charity, if you can, that works to combat those problems by changing society rather than changing us, is what I guess I’m getting at. 

Autism Speaks is big, loud, and well-funded and that gives it a huge advantage and allows it to manipulate situations to fit its needs. Even making small inroads against it is beyond valuable. 

I actually watched that season, and I did like Heather (the model in question).

But that sort of situation is always such a double-edged sword for us. It would be nice if allistics saw that and took from it that autistic people are people, we’re all different, we have different strengths and weaknesses, different goals and dreams. 

Instead the majority of them seem to have one of two reactions. Either they do what your friends and relatives did, because for some reason they have to compare autistic people to other autistics like Rain Man (who was based on an actual autistic) or Temple Grandin or Heather herself.

Or they’re all “She can do that, why can’t you?” 

It’s great when autistic people make inroads in careers that aren’t the acceptable, stereotyped ones, but that sort of reaction to it really bites. 

I’m going to say something here that might be a bit controversial, but I think it needs to be said.

It’s true that in most situations, avoiding violence is best. But we should never forget that the idea that violence is wrong is often used as a tool of oppressors to keep people oppressed. Think about it: People are perpetrating violence (and yes, it is violence) against you, yet you’re the one feeling guilty. Because so many of us live in a society so twisted that many types of violence against people are accepted and normalized, but standing up for oneself is demonized. Especially when you’re someone that someone else wants to keep oppressed. 

You shouldn’t let people convince you that standing up for yourself is wrong. You shouldn’t let people convince you to tolerate touching you don’t want. It may be that threats of violence will be the only thing you can do with some people (violence was the only thing that worked against bullies in school) but let’s see if we can’t find something you are more comfortable with that will work on most people.

First of all, if you’re dealing in people you know won’t seriously harm you, you could try a threat of much lesser violence: pinching. You may have to follow through on it with some people, but most people really don’t like being pinched and if you feel like it’ll make someone back off (and make you feel less guilty) give it a try.

Something my husband suggested was carrying a small water gun with you and squirting people with it when they touch you against your will (it does often work on cats, after all). Again, since this is probably going to annoy people, be careful who you use it on and you should probably give anyone you do use it on a warning first. 

You can also try saying “Ow” really loudly or screaming like you’re in pain, or something similar. Something that will make other people feel uncomfortable and guilty–which they should. 

Whatever you try, always keep your own safety in mind. And though it can be hard, avoid those kind of people whenever you can. People who have so little respect for your feelings that they touch you against your will are not good people. Even when it’s family, such behavior is toxic. You’re not the one at fault here; they are.

(If anyone has any further suggestions or knows some nonviolent techniques that work in these situations, please send them to my inbox.)

Here’s the thing: The problem with that particular allistic person is that all they’ve done is look at a symptom or two (maybe a list of symptoms) and declared themselves autistic. Of course they’re going to pick up certain small habits–like hand flapping–from their sibling, because that’s what humans do. But that’s not all autism is about, and that particular kind of allistic person doesn’t stop to consider that. 

The two key pieces, I think, are knowing what autism is and actually knowing autistic people (and as we all know too well, knowing autistic people does not guarantee knowledge of autism). My husband’s school psychologist once said that my husband had a “lick of Asperger’s” (side-eyeing so hard right now) but my husband, having known me for so many years now, doesn’t feel he’s autistic at all. Certainly he understands better than most allistics, but he’s well-informed enough to know the difference between having autism and having some things that are similar to symptoms of autism. 

It sounds as if you’ve done your research, so that’s not the problem here. No matter what, you’re not the person going “Guys, I looked at a list of autism symptoms because my brother is autistic and I totally think I am too!” Most of us on Tumblr are not going to have a problem with you identifying as autistic.

If you’re still feeling uncertain, though, one thing you could consider doing is sitting down and writing out a list of why you feel you’re autistic. If the list comes out short and/or shallow, maybe you need to reevaluate. But if not, relax a little–you’re definitely not that allistic person, okay?

Yeah, my husband (who’s allistic) and I do that too. My cat makes some noises that are really fun to imitate. XD

Well, maybe you need to grow the fuck up then, you ableist asshole. You copy people too; you just don’t realize it. 

More hedgehogs are always welcome here! Especially when they draw cute little punk hedgehogs! :D

For clarification, this is in regards to this post.

That's exactly it, and it’s done with a lot of behaviors you see in every child on the planet, regardless of whether they’re autistic or not. All children learn by mimicry (echolalia), for example, but autistic children may start this behavior much later than allistic children. Even if it goes away (whether it does or not is dependent upon the individual and circumstances) it’s still looked at as a symptom and as something “abnormal” when all it really is, is just a bit late. 

(Incidentally, even if echolalia doesn’t go away in an autistic person, this isn’t anywhere near as strange as “experts” want to make it out to be, because it doesn’t technically go away fully in allistic people either. Although most of them never realize, they will continue to echo people who are around them constantly, picking up on said people’s mannerisms and speech patterns, throughout their entire lives. They’ll even do it at times with people they’ve just met: for example, it’s a perfectly normal (and instinctual) thing for someone to mimic the sitting position of someone they’re talking to if they’re interested in that person. Pfft to you, “experts.”)

So yeah, us being “different” makes people pathologize our behavior regardless of how actually normal it in truth is. I explained it to my husband like this:

If an allistic child shows a keen interest in serial killers, people will assume they have a future as a profiler for the FBI.

If an autistic child shows a keen interest in serial killers, people will assume they have a future as a serial killer. 

That’s just utter bullshit, but it doesn’t stop people from treating us like it’s true. 

In regards to this post.

I think this was supposed to have a second half? IDK.

Although allistics (non-autistics) have assigned the classifications “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism, those really don’t work very well for what autism actually is. Autism is a spectrum, and no individual sits firmly on one spot of that spectrum. Even people who appear “higher” or “lower” functioning tend to sort of…slide around, I guess you could say. 

It’s all dependent upon the situation. In a normal situation where I’m perfectly comfortable, a lot of people would never tell I’m autistic. Start piling on certain stimuli and the like, though, and that can change. I’m terrified of needles and when I have to get bloodwork, we (my husband and I) usually instruct people to handle me as if they’re handling a small child. I hate that, it’s humiliating, but it seems to be the only thing people understand. (And incidentally, last year I ended up with even worse trauma than before, because something got lost in translation and I ended up surrounded by three people who stuck me with a needle roughly half a dozen times.)

Beyond functioning labels there really aren't levels of autism. There’s a spectrum and symptoms and individuals; that’s it. And a number of actually autistic people don’t care much for functioning labels.

P.S. For any allistics reading this: Absolutely DO NOT go around treating autistics like small children because you think something might be upsetting or overstimulating for them. That is a precaution I choose to take to protect myself, and one I wouldn’t have to take if there wasn’t so much ignorance about autism spread around. 

Continued: it was written for a time-sensitive prompt. And the allistic did research but only found the Wikipedia article and tried to be respectful to the inaccurate depiction. And afterward has done research from autistic-written sources. She developed good autie characters and some are really creative and others are geniuses because of the particular setting’s limitations about who would be there. She was uninformed but really respectful and is educating herself. I no longer support my memes.

——————————-

I’ve been thinking about how to deal with this for a while. I didn’t have context when I chose those memes to publish; I didn't need context, because I know most of us have experienced these exact circumstances (as evidenced by the amount of notes each meme got). I didn’t know there was a context, because this looked like ordinary, generalized stuff.

In fact, anon, had you never said anything, no one would know. No one would suspect. And I doubt anyone now could easily figure out what author and story you’re talking about, because the internet is large and this stuff happens all the time. 

So now I have a dilemma. I’ve sworn in the past that I would remove memes if asked, but at the same time, I’ve got a lot of people who related to those memes. Just because you don’t stand behind them, anon, doesn’t mean they didn’t mean something to someone else. After all, none of us knew they were specific. So if you want them down, you’re going to have to say so. I’m not going to make the decision for you because, frankly, I’m done making decisions for people and there’s going to be some changes to how I do things here. 

That’s sort of a tricky question, because sometimes stims intersect with other things, and there are a lot of things that count as stims.

Simplified, a stim is a repetitive motion or action (it might be making a sound rather than moving) and it can be an expression of a number of emotions: fear, happiness, contentment, anxiety. It can also be a way to calm fear or anxiety, or to ground one’s happiness.  I don’t think a long period of repetition is necessary for something to be a stim (I sometimes make a small string of sounds along the lines of “nif nif nif” which I tend to do in stim-like situations) but over all it’s something that repeats. 

Using my own as an example:

• I rock when agitated, hurt (as in injured) or in other ways upset, though sometimes this only makes me more agitated.
• I sway (which is more rhythmic than rocking) when happy, content, tired or some mixture thereof. 
• I flap, but very little. Usually I flap my entire arms, and the motion is connected to a very particular anxiety, like when I’m asking for permission for something. 
• I rub on smooth textures (like satin ribbon) for comfort in situations where I’m anxious or want to feel extra content.
• I make small chains of sounds, like the “nif nif nif” I mentioned earlier, often as an expression of feeling good or feeling silly.

You can see there’s sort of a pattern of how those connect. There’s another thing I do that I don’t consider a stim, though. I bite the skin around my fingernails. While I do it more in times of increased anxiety, I always do it regardless, I have a tendency to hurt myself doing it, and it doesn’t really make me feel better in any way. I just can’t help it. That’s where I draw the line.

Some things are unquestionably not stims, but for the most part, you need to find your own personal guidelines for what a stim is to you. If something falls outside those guidelines, then odds are good you’re not doing it for stimming purposes. 

As the person who submitted the meme put it:

Why is it that everything and anything an autistic person shows interest in, or proficiency for is a “Special Interest”? I know the difference between my perservations and my hobbies and general interests, thankyouverymuch.

Basically, the problem is that autistics aren’t really allowed to have hobbies. If we like something, it all tends to get classified as a “special interest” and while that may seem like the same thing, it’s not when it’s applied to us. 

For us, a “special interest” is a marker of our autism, which is why the term “special interest” gets used rather than “hobby.”  Everything we like must be a symptom in the eyes of certain allistics, and I believe that’s what the OP meant. That it’s frustrating that we can’t enjoy something without it being inextricably linked to our autism by other people. 

We do have things we fixate on and yes, that can be related to the autism. But some things really are just hobbies and classifying them as “special interests” is a way a number of allistics (especially psychologists and psychiatrists) Other autistics.