Autistic Hedgehog

I know this sort of thing can be difficult, but no matter what, it’s always best to be informed about the realities of any charity organization. Something that appears on the surface to be good may not be so when examined from another angle. No one should remain silent in cases like those. Especially when it’s so hard to get people to listen in the first place. Every voice is valuable when it comes to shutting down horrible organizations like Autism Speaks. 

If you want to intervene, you will face opposition and you may not succeed. But if you change even one mind, you’ve achieved something, which is very important to remember. Start by getting as well informed as you can about why Autism Speaks is so bad. This post is an excellent place to begin in that respect, and even lists alternate and preferable charities. Ask for permission to print out this information to pass around, or email links to the people involved in raising money at your school. 

A very important thing to remember: Autism Speaks feeds on the same fears that anti-vaxxers and alt-med gurus do. They target parents who were given no hope by the psychologists and psychiatrists involved in diagnosing their child, parents who have to fight with crappy systems that refuse to provide what their children actually need, and with an overall field that is still very uneducated and incompetent when it comes to understanding autism. 

This makes it much easier for them to paint autistics as a burden, as a problem that needs curing, when its society that needs curing. It’s society that makes things burdensome with its inflexibility, it’s lack of compassion, its strict adherence to “normalcy.” Find information and a charity, if you can, that works to combat those problems by changing society rather than changing us, is what I guess I’m getting at. 

Autism Speaks is big, loud, and well-funded and that gives it a huge advantage and allows it to manipulate situations to fit its needs. Even making small inroads against it is beyond valuable. 

I actually watched that season, and I did like Heather (the model in question).

But that sort of situation is always such a double-edged sword for us. It would be nice if allistics saw that and took from it that autistic people are people, we’re all different, we have different strengths and weaknesses, different goals and dreams. 

Instead the majority of them seem to have one of two reactions. Either they do what your friends and relatives did, because for some reason they have to compare autistic people to other autistics like Rain Man (who was based on an actual autistic) or Temple Grandin or Heather herself.

Or they’re all “She can do that, why can’t you?” 

It’s great when autistic people make inroads in careers that aren’t the acceptable, stereotyped ones, but that sort of reaction to it really bites. 

I’m going to say something here that might be a bit controversial, but I think it needs to be said.

It’s true that in most situations, avoiding violence is best. But we should never forget that the idea that violence is wrong is often used as a tool of oppressors to keep people oppressed. Think about it: People are perpetrating violence (and yes, it is violence) against you, yet you’re the one feeling guilty. Because so many of us live in a society so twisted that many types of violence against people are accepted and normalized, but standing up for oneself is demonized. Especially when you’re someone that someone else wants to keep oppressed. 

You shouldn’t let people convince you that standing up for yourself is wrong. You shouldn’t let people convince you to tolerate touching you don’t want. It may be that threats of violence will be the only thing you can do with some people (violence was the only thing that worked against bullies in school) but let’s see if we can’t find something you are more comfortable with that will work on most people.

First of all, if you’re dealing in people you know won’t seriously harm you, you could try a threat of much lesser violence: pinching. You may have to follow through on it with some people, but most people really don’t like being pinched and if you feel like it’ll make someone back off (and make you feel less guilty) give it a try.

Something my husband suggested was carrying a small water gun with you and squirting people with it when they touch you against your will (it does often work on cats, after all). Again, since this is probably going to annoy people, be careful who you use it on and you should probably give anyone you do use it on a warning first. 

You can also try saying “Ow” really loudly or screaming like you’re in pain, or something similar. Something that will make other people feel uncomfortable and guilty–which they should. 

Whatever you try, always keep your own safety in mind. And though it can be hard, avoid those kind of people whenever you can. People who have so little respect for your feelings that they touch you against your will are not good people. Even when it’s family, such behavior is toxic. You’re not the one at fault here; they are.

(If anyone has any further suggestions or knows some nonviolent techniques that work in these situations, please send them to my inbox.)

Here’s the thing: The problem with that particular allistic person is that all they’ve done is look at a symptom or two (maybe a list of symptoms) and declared themselves autistic. Of course they’re going to pick up certain small habits–like hand flapping–from their sibling, because that’s what humans do. But that’s not all autism is about, and that particular kind of allistic person doesn’t stop to consider that. 

The two key pieces, I think, are knowing what autism is and actually knowing autistic people (and as we all know too well, knowing autistic people does not guarantee knowledge of autism). My husband’s school psychologist once said that my husband had a “lick of Asperger’s” (side-eyeing so hard right now) but my husband, having known me for so many years now, doesn’t feel he’s autistic at all. Certainly he understands better than most allistics, but he’s well-informed enough to know the difference between having autism and having some things that are similar to symptoms of autism. 

It sounds as if you’ve done your research, so that’s not the problem here. No matter what, you’re not the person going “Guys, I looked at a list of autism symptoms because my brother is autistic and I totally think I am too!” Most of us on Tumblr are not going to have a problem with you identifying as autistic.

If you’re still feeling uncertain, though, one thing you could consider doing is sitting down and writing out a list of why you feel you’re autistic. If the list comes out short and/or shallow, maybe you need to reevaluate. But if not, relax a little–you’re definitely not that allistic person, okay?

Yeah, my husband (who’s allistic) and I do that too. My cat makes some noises that are really fun to imitate. XD

Well, maybe you need to grow the fuck up then, you ableist asshole. You copy people too; you just don’t realize it. 

More hedgehogs are always welcome here! Especially when they draw cute little punk hedgehogs! :D

For clarification, this is in regards to this post.

That's exactly it, and it’s done with a lot of behaviors you see in every child on the planet, regardless of whether they’re autistic or not. All children learn by mimicry (echolalia), for example, but autistic children may start this behavior much later than allistic children. Even if it goes away (whether it does or not is dependent upon the individual and circumstances) it’s still looked at as a symptom and as something “abnormal” when all it really is, is just a bit late. 

(Incidentally, even if echolalia doesn’t go away in an autistic person, this isn’t anywhere near as strange as “experts” want to make it out to be, because it doesn’t technically go away fully in allistic people either. Although most of them never realize, they will continue to echo people who are around them constantly, picking up on said people’s mannerisms and speech patterns, throughout their entire lives. They’ll even do it at times with people they’ve just met: for example, it’s a perfectly normal (and instinctual) thing for someone to mimic the sitting position of someone they’re talking to if they’re interested in that person. Pfft to you, “experts.”)

So yeah, us being “different” makes people pathologize our behavior regardless of how actually normal it in truth is. I explained it to my husband like this:

If an allistic child shows a keen interest in serial killers, people will assume they have a future as a profiler for the FBI.

If an autistic child shows a keen interest in serial killers, people will assume they have a future as a serial killer. 

That’s just utter bullshit, but it doesn’t stop people from treating us like it’s true. 

In regards to this post.

I think this was supposed to have a second half? IDK.

Although allistics (non-autistics) have assigned the classifications “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism, those really don’t work very well for what autism actually is. Autism is a spectrum, and no individual sits firmly on one spot of that spectrum. Even people who appear “higher” or “lower” functioning tend to sort of…slide around, I guess you could say. 

It’s all dependent upon the situation. In a normal situation where I’m perfectly comfortable, a lot of people would never tell I’m autistic. Start piling on certain stimuli and the like, though, and that can change. I’m terrified of needles and when I have to get bloodwork, we (my husband and I) usually instruct people to handle me as if they’re handling a small child. I hate that, it’s humiliating, but it seems to be the only thing people understand. (And incidentally, last year I ended up with even worse trauma than before, because something got lost in translation and I ended up surrounded by three people who stuck me with a needle roughly half a dozen times.)

Beyond functioning labels there really aren't levels of autism. There’s a spectrum and symptoms and individuals; that’s it. And a number of actually autistic people don’t care much for functioning labels.

P.S. For any allistics reading this: Absolutely DO NOT go around treating autistics like small children because you think something might be upsetting or overstimulating for them. That is a precaution I choose to take to protect myself, and one I wouldn’t have to take if there wasn’t so much ignorance about autism spread around. 

Continued: it was written for a time-sensitive prompt. And the allistic did research but only found the Wikipedia article and tried to be respectful to the inaccurate depiction. And afterward has done research from autistic-written sources. She developed good autie characters and some are really creative and others are geniuses because of the particular setting’s limitations about who would be there. She was uninformed but really respectful and is educating herself. I no longer support my memes.

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I’ve been thinking about how to deal with this for a while. I didn’t have context when I chose those memes to publish; I didn't need context, because I know most of us have experienced these exact circumstances (as evidenced by the amount of notes each meme got). I didn’t know there was a context, because this looked like ordinary, generalized stuff.

In fact, anon, had you never said anything, no one would know. No one would suspect. And I doubt anyone now could easily figure out what author and story you’re talking about, because the internet is large and this stuff happens all the time. 

So now I have a dilemma. I’ve sworn in the past that I would remove memes if asked, but at the same time, I’ve got a lot of people who related to those memes. Just because you don’t stand behind them, anon, doesn’t mean they didn’t mean something to someone else. After all, none of us knew they were specific. So if you want them down, you’re going to have to say so. I’m not going to make the decision for you because, frankly, I’m done making decisions for people and there’s going to be some changes to how I do things here.