Autistic Hedgehog

To any anons who want to waltz in here and try to tell me how to behave, how to think, how to feel, how to act when people oppress me with their words, their behavior, their very ideas:

You are not starting a conversation, you’re attempting to bully and gaslight me. And I will not stand forit.

If you think for a second that I will bow and fold because you call me “mean” for standing up for myself, you’ve got another think coming. If you think you can guilt me into walking on egg shells and being nice to my abusers by telling me to take the highroad, you are enormously misguided. 

And if you think–if you imagine for the smallest second–that I will let you bully, gaslight and guilt trip my followers, you’re going to find out just how prickly this particular hedgehog can be; That which does not kill me makes me meaner, and trust me, over the years, a lot of things have tried. 

I’ve dealt with plenty of bullies. I went through bully hell and came out the other side, and you don’t scare me. I know that intimidates you. The idea of marginalized people standing up for themselves terrifies you. And if you’re going to hang around my blog to sling around anon hate, I suggest you get used to terror. I will never, ever stop defending myself against you. Ever.

So to clarify: I know there are people already doing things for April. That’s great! Want me to signal boost it? Just give me a heads up. Want me to reblog a post you’ve written or art you’ve done? Let me know, and I’ll do it. AH has over 500 followers now (I don’t like to talk about this, it makes me uncomfortable) and some of them may not follow some of (or any of) the autism tags. If you’ve started a tag for your project, I can also signal boost that here.

We are, after all, all in this together.

But here at AH is also where the barbs comes out. That’s why I created it, after all. Thus, got something that makes you angry and want to turn it into a hedgehog meme? Awesome! You can even send me the text if you want and I can make the meme itself for you.

Want to write something? Rant about anti-vaxxers, Autism $peaks, Simon Baron-Cohen, the inane things your mom says about your autism, etc. etc.? Cool! If you want, you can submit them here for April. Especially if you’d like to write something but don’t want to deal with people bugging you about it or friends or family finding out about it–just let me know and I can post it anonymously for you. (And if your anon article gets any anon hate, I can give them a verbal beatdown for you. Or just delete it. Your choice.) 

Several years back, when I was still on Twitter, I encountered a woman who wanted to do something for Autism Awareness Month. Being autistic myself, I offered to be interviewed. She seemed to think this was a great idea and was very eager–and then I heard nothing from her again. Not a single word. Not even a “sorry, life happened, don’t have the time now” sort of message. Nada. 

I’ve been frustrated ever since with how much “Autism Awareness Month” has nothing to do with actual autistics and I know I’m not the only one who feels that frustration. So I want to gather up our expressions of that frustration–from the “speak softly and carry a big stick” variety, to the mildly annoyed, to the pissed as all fucking hell–here, on AH. I’ve already seen quite a few different plans people have. My hope is not only to have my own content, but to keep track of what else is going on, and thus help others keep track.

Hopefully that makes my intentions clearer.

(And I know there is stuff in my inbox! What else is new? It’s sitting there mainly because it’s stuff I have to think carefully about, and sometimes that can take a long time. My apologies, I will get to it.)

We spew hate? We spew hate? I don’t think you know what hate is. 

Hate is being burned to death on your 18th birthday because you’re autistic. 

Hate is being drowned at the age of four because you’re autistic.

Hate is a long list of people like you who were killed for that same thing that makes them like you.

Hate is the way we’re taught that everything about us is wrong, abnormal, broken, dangerous. 

Hate is the way therapies like ABA are used on us, forcing us to do things we don’t want to do, things that are painful and even traumatizing, so we can behave in a way deemed “acceptable.”

Hate is parents who hold us down or hit us when we have meltdowns, who punish us and allow us to be punished for behavior that is perfectly normal to us. 

Hate is people who spread lies about what causes autism, hate is anti-vaccers who would rather see children dead than autistic. 

Hate is people who want to “fix” us, to “cure” us, to wipe us off the face of the planet without ever asking us how we feel about it first. Hate is dismissing us, silencing us when we say “No, we’re not ashamed of who we are.”

Hate is whining incessantly about your autistic brother/sister/cousin/whatever without ever trying to understand them. Hate is ignoring people who are actually autistic and who know what they’re talking about, because somehow being the sibling of an autistic child makes you a bigger expert on the subject. 

Hate is using autism as a slur, calling people who like My Little Pony or Pokemon or any number of things autistic as an insult. 

Hate is you having the fucking gall to come here and try to tell me how to act, think, and feel about the way people treat me every day of my life.

I’ll tell you what hate isn’t, though. Hate isn’t oppressed people being unwilling to coddle your poor widdle feelings. Hate isn’t oppressed people refusing to let you stomp all over them and silence them. Hate isn’t oppressed people refusing to let you stigmatize them, stereotype them, or support the idea of wiping them off the face of the earth.

No, that’s just you getting what was coming to you for your intolerance. For your hate. Piss off. 

Just a thought I’ve been having, about countering the influx of fuckery that people have the nerve to call “autism awareness” with a bit of crankiness and spikes. 

I’d love to have not just hedgehog memes, but articles, art, whatever people would like to submit, dealing in what this form of “autism awareness” actually does to us. What do y'all think? Does anyone have anything they’d like to submit to such a project? 

It’s all well and good to promote autism acceptance, and I’m down with that, but I think we also need to fight back against the stigma that organizations like A$ perpetuate with their Autism Awareness Month and their Light it Up Blue shit. Anyone with me?

I don’t know the answer to this one, but if someone does, please send it to my inbox ASAP. 

And signal boost, please!