Autistic Hedgehog

Yeah, I think even those of us who are good at sarcasm miss it in some cases. I definitely struggle with it online, and even with my husband sometimes I have to double check with him, to see if something was sarcasm or not. I know autistics struggle with this a bit more than usual, but I definitely don’t think it’s just us. 

Well, here’s the thing: The necessity of a charity for autism depends, I think, on where that charity is located and what it’s trying to do.

In the US, where social support structures are absolute crap, charities are often an unfortunate necessity. They are an opportunity to raise money, support and awareness so that autistics of all ages can get what they need out of society to make life more comfortable. 

That’s part of what makes Autism $peaks such a crappy charity. It focuses on things like cures, which have very little relevance to the daily life of any autistic. When I see cases where, for example, a mother kills her autistic child because she can’t afford the special schooling he needs, I hold Autism $peaks doubly responsible. Their fearmongering and misinformation is bad enough, but as a charity, this is what they should be doing: Giving support so things like that don’t happen, and raising awareness of why society should change so there’s more support built into it.

They’re such a big charity that their Light it up Blue campaign is worldwide, and yet, why don’t they have funding programs to help autistic people get the kind of education, health and career help they need? Why don’t they run ads and make videos about how social security and universal healthcare are necessary infrastructure to help autistics (and all people) live happier, healthier lives? They could do that, and a good charity would do such things. 

I guess what I’m saying is, having a charity for something doesn’t necessarily make that something a “charity case.” Rather, it can potentially be a force for change in the world, doing its part to help make the world a less harsh, inflexible place for autistics, and showing others why they should do the same. Such charities would definitely be worthwhile, and I can’t imagine most of us would be offended by them. 

Considering that humor is a very subjective thing in the first place, I think the claim is hogwash.

Some autistics don’t understand some jokes, just like some allistics don’t understand some jokes. Because to those people, those jokes might not even be funny in the first place, and it’s hard to understand the point of something one doesn’t find funny. But like with so many other things, for us, it’s a stereotype and it’s been pathologized all to hell.

It’s true that in some ways we have slight disadvantages. Some of us struggle to understand sarcasm or other tones of voice, and if the person telling the joke doesn’t have very good delivery in the first place, it might make it even harder to get the joke (I have this problem with every single joke my brother-in-law tries to tell). But it’s important to keep in mind that allistics can and do have the exact same preferences and problems. If it’s not a stereotype for them, it certainly shouldn’t be for us. 

If you really need to help, then it might well be worth it. Though I wonder, do you have a psychiatrist or a doctor you see on a regular basis, who would be willing to change the wording of your diagnosis to fit the new DSM, so you wouldn’t have to go for reevaluation? If you have someone already who might do that for you, talk to them first. If not, do what you need to do to make yourself comfortable.

It’s really unfortunate that this is affecting people like this. By all rights, anyone with a diagnosis that is being rolled into the autism spectrum ought to have their diagnosis changed automatically, but it doesn’t seem like that was planned for. I suppose it’s too much to ask that the American system be efficient. 

I think that was pretty much how we all felt about that…thing. And sadly, every now and then there’s a post in the autism tag from someone who works with autistic kids, that’s basically a condensed version of the same kind of nonsense that was on that blog. I fear it may not be that rare an occurrence, sadly. 

(p2) strictly to autism, just in life in general. I would always prefer someone to ask exactly what they want or what they are curious about or if I do or do not want something.

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Honesty and straightforwardness generally is preferable to me, as well, and under most circumstances I really just want people to say what they mean.

Though, in terms of things that are autism-specific, I don’t like it when people use it as an excuse to poke and pry, either. Asking if something offends me is one thing, but going through a laundry list of possibilities one right after the other tends to feel a bit skeevy. 

I know there’s Queerability which deals in queerness and disability, for starters. It’s not just about autism but autism is one of the disabilities covered.

As to whether I have gay followers…I’d be downright shocked if I didn’t, actually. Every now and then someone goes into the autism tag and asks if there are any other LGBTQ+ autistics, and it so happens there are a lot of us. I’m bisexual myself. 

Any of my followers know of any good blogs or forums or the like?

My mom did me the unfortunate service of not telling me until some years after my diagnosis; had I been, oh, three when I was diagnosed, this wouldn’t be so bad, but I was nine, and she waited until I’d been badly bullied for some time to tell me. So I think it’s good that you’re talking to your kids about it and that you’re open to them asking questions about it.

I really wish my mom had been willing to learn more about it, and helped me learn, and I hope you’ll take the opportunity to do that with your children. There will be struggles and self-doubt and all manner of questions as the years go by, and it will be so much easier for them and you if they always know they can turn to you, that you’ll be there to help them. If you find yourself explaining again, a little in the future, about their autism, don’t be surprised; it may take time for them to fully absorb what that means. But your understanding and willingness to help and learn will make the road all the smoother.

That, I think, is what I would have wanted. Not someone with all the answers, as such, but someone who would be there to help me find the answers. 

Hedgehogs, what say ye?

Testing doesn’t always come out with the right answer, so if you really feel you need it, by all means, try again. It may be that you just ended up in the hands of people who weren’t very good at their job, and if you’re really having problems, you shouldn’t ignore them. Mistakes get made and, unfortunately, when it comes to autism, even the so-called experts can be really ignorant. 

Geez. Definitelyseek a second opinion. Wow. I just…I think I need to go sit in a corner for a little while and try to cope with how mind-bogglingly ignorant people still are about autism. 

I prefer to be called autistic or an autistic person. I’ve addressed my feelings on the matter on my blog as well as addressed one of the major issues of how allistic people use it here.

To be clear, this is my personal preference; what other autistics choose is purely up to them. 

Oh my dear goodness. Having recently learned about how France treats autism, you have my deepest sympathies. I’m glad you’ve found somewhere you feel comfortable and welcome, though. :)

My opinion is that this doctor is ignorant, ought to be fired, and you should definitely seek a second opinion, preferably from someone who doesn’t need both hands and a road map to find his own ass. 

In point of fact, people with Aspergers are very often diagnosed later in life, specifically because it’s perceived by allistic people as being a higher-functioning form of autism. Far from being “so severe that it’s obvious,” it won’t necessarily express as strongly at a young age; the signs can be more subtle and easily missed, especially in children designated female at birth, because autism “science” is a hotbed of cissexism and gender essentialism. 

I was diagnosed when I was nine. There are a number of people on Tumblr with an AS diagnosis that were diagnosed around that age or even later, sometimes much later—especially since AS only went down in the DSM in 1994. I couldn’t have been diagnosed AS at one because the diagnosis didn’t officially exist when I was one, and that goes for many, many Aspies or just those with some form of autism considered “high-functioning.”

It’s really sad and frightening to me that I feel like I, someone without training or even a complete college education, could do this job better than the people supposedly trained to do it. 

“Neurotypical as fuck” here. Just wanted to add that I love my friend not “in spite of” her autism but really *because* of it. It’s a fundamental part of her personality and she wouldn’t be *her* without it. And losing *any* part of her would be absolutely unbearable. She’s one of the people I love most and I would never *ever* want to take away part of what makes her *her*. A$ is full of *despicable* people who want to change someone I love. She doesn’t *need* changing. She’s awesome.

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Well, there may be those who will take it offensively. We’re all different, and some of us more easily get when something is meant figuratively rather than literally. You’ll also find that some of us get it most of the time but not all the time, or half the time, or any combination. Since a lot of us are exposed to the internet these days and various forms of “whatever as fuck” I think you’ll find that most autistics understand what you mean, but it’s hard to know for sure ahead of time. 

If you’re really concerned that you might hurt someone’s feelings, err on the side of caution and try to only use it around your friend. If you do find yourself in a situation where you’ve offended someone with it, apologize. While I do think the majority of us will get what you mean (we really are so many levels of spectra, and that includes things like literalness and sexuality) a little care for our feelings doesn’t hurt. 

All people are welcome, allistic and autistic alike. The only rule is that you respect that this is a safe place for us and don’t try to police us when we express our feelings. 

I’ve heard of a fair few autistics that have that problem. For me, when I do have it, it seems to be more related to my ADHD. But it’s not unusual, and it certainly doesn’t make you stupid. 

That is one of the unfortunate things about the way society pathologizes us. If having a brain that doesn’t always function properly makes a person “stupid” than the entire population of this planet is “stupid,” because no one’s brain is perfect. My husband has a terrible time with his memory, for example. And human brains act in a lot of ways to deceive us, distorting our perception especially under the influence of strong emotions.

Something that happened to me the first year I lived in Sweden: We live on the fourth floor and our windows have no screens, so we’re open to everything if we want to open them in the summer. I could hear something flapping around in the kitchen, and I got up to go investigate. As soon as I was out in the hall, a swift came pelting out of the kitchen towards me. In my state of high adrenaline, not only did it look much larger than it actually was, but for a moment I thought it was a bat. Now, it was broad daylight so of course it wasn’t a bat, but the thought went through my head.

Not because I’m stupid or anything like that, but because I was full of adrenaline and fear, and that affected my perception of what was happening. That is the nature of the brain.

Whatever causes you to have this problem, you’re not alone. Not only are you not unusual as an autistic person, but you’re not unusual as a person, and you’re not stupid. 

I haven’t seen either movie, though I’ve seen bits and pieces of Rain Main (hooray, TV syndication?). But I have reservations about both of them.

It’s true that, back when it first came out, Rain Man was actually a positive thing for autism awareness, and Temple Grandin is (obviously) based on a real person, so that ought to be positive as well. But real understanding of autism hasn’t come. Instead, people with autism are generally broken into Rain Mans and Temple Grandins, and the lack of other media representation than those two images of autism has been harmful. Instead of being the positive force they could have been, I feel like both movies help contribute to the lack of nuance in popular views of autism.

This isn’t really the fault of the movies themselves, per se. The fault lies in media itself. Rarely do autistic characters appear unless they’re in stories dealing solely with their issues, and usually then from the perspective of their “poor, burdened” families. On the rare occasions that I have seen autistic characters in media in ways that aren’t all about Issues, they’re either stereotypes, or not canonically acknowledged as autistic. 

That makes it very difficult for such movies to have a positive impact and they often end up having a negative one, however inadvertently. But again, it’s less a problem with the movies themselves as it is with society, and it’s a problem that has to stop. But because of those problems, I can’t help but have reservations about Rain Man and Temple Grandin, because I know what will most likely come of ignorant people seeing them: more ignorance. 

(This is also, incidentally, another reason why I’m writing a book with an autistic main character. I want a chance to get a very different representation of autistics out into the mainstream media and well, if you want a job done right, often you’ve got to do it yourself.)

I don’t think so. Echolalia seems to be more about echoing other people rather than just echoing yourself. But echolalia has never really been much of a symptom of mine, so I’m not as knowledgeable about it as some other autistics.

I will say that I can and do get into states where I do the same thing, particularly states of high stress or other emotional turmoil. I’m not exactly sure what causes the impulse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if other autistics experience it too. 

It’s almost like those blue lights aren’t doing anything to actually raise people’s awareness of autism and what it is…Gosh, I wonder where that particular campaign could possibly be going wrong…

(Pardon my sarcasm. I find sometimes the only appropriate response to these ridiculous stereotypes is a hefty dose of acerbic sardonicism.) 

But sometimes I think that I just have social anxiety, but I’m still neurotypical. And then I think the opposite. I’m so full of self doubt and I don’t want to offend anyone, but this blog just seems to click with me.

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I don’t really see why the answer should be any different in your case than it is in anyone else’s. It sounds like you have a legitimate reason to not want an official diagnosis, and that’s fine. There are all sorts of reasons to be wary of being officially diagnosed. Just, as I always say, do your research. There’s various reasons for this, and perhaps one of the most important is ensuring that you’re identifying in a way that you feel comfortable and confident in. 

Though to be completely frank, you don’t have to be autistic, officially diagnosed or not, to relate to this blog. If it resonates with you, that’s all that matters. Even if “all” you have is social anxiety, that can be very difficult to deal with, and it’s no small wonder you relate to things on this blog. Even if, in the end, you decide that social anxiety is a better fit for you than autism, you’re always welcome here. 

(p2) person responsible for taking care of inventory. That way, I set my own pace, worked in a quite room by myself, my coworkers were happy because I was doing something they all hated doing. I also wasn’t being measure against my coworkers performance, because I was the only person working on the task I was doing. You may have to dig a bit once you find a job, but there are often tasks like this that you could probably excel at in various fields.

when I shut down or variations thereupon, one of the best ways to get me to come back is to get me talking about something I love, there are situations where the stress is too much and it doesn’t work, but generally my obsessions pull me out of anything else because I am so entirely focused on them that everything else gets canceled out–unfortunately not many people think to ask complex theoretical questions about obscure things when I seem to be collapsing in on myself

Honestly, if at all possible, it’s time for you to find a new therapist. This is a woman who has no place calling herself an “autistic specialist;” she ought to be fired. 

She’s wrong. Full stop. She’s ignorant and she’s doing you actual harm, and really, if you’re seeing her for things like depression, then it will only get worse with her treating you like that. You’re not in any way in the wrong here. She, however, is incredibly shitty at her job. 

I’m always happy to answer questions to the best of my ability here at Autistic Hedgehog (and sometimes my hedgehogs help out too).

There are also organizations like the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network that can prove information, and the askanautistic tag right here on Tumblr where you can find actually autistic people willing to answer questions. 

Just remember to be polite and you’ll find there are people (here or elsewhere) who are willing to answer your questions. 

Well, that does sound positive, and I hope that autism acceptance continues to move in such a direction. But it will continue to be a struggle as long as organizations like Autism $peaks are around to fearmonger. 

(p2) an assitant baker in a tiny shop, but I quite for a grown up job with benefits and whatever so i could get an apartment and be adult. And I almost had a nervous breakdown. If you are happiest and most comfortable making McFlurries at McDonalds, or moving mulch at a nursery, or driving a semi truck, or being a telemarketer, just do that. I think finding an environment and a group of people who do make you comfortable will make you the happiest. I hope that makes sense. Good luck!

even in triggering situations at work (like running around on a beach with nearly 100 other people, all of us elbow-to-elbow, rushing to plant mangroves and lay out oyster mats before the tide came in) I wasn’t being triggered. (cont’d) It’s like I was so focused on the work because I was so in love with what I was doing that it created a buffer or something. Maybe? It makes me curious to know if other hedgehogs have had similar experiences. (I’m done now)

For some reason my brain wants to respond to this with a macabre and inappropriate sense of humor. Please ignore my brain, it’s an asshole sometimes.

That aside, an armadillo works pretty well. I mean, holy crap, they sure can sound cranky.

Unfortunately, I’m not a very good person to ask for this. I stay home and work on my writing; we live off my husband’s (pretty darn good) salary, something we can get away with in part due to living in a country with universal healthcare and stuff. I’m very lucky that he’s supportive like this, because I’m not very well equipped for working. I never learned any good coping strategies.

But I know some of my hedgehogs have jobs or have held jobs, and have some experience with this sort of thing. If anyone has some advice they’d be willing to lend, please don’t be afraid to chime in.