Autistic Hedgehog

(Cont.) the annoyance of friends and family. And myself. It’s frustrating sometimes, but I can get some level of control over it so I’m not pacing or darting about in public.

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Well, I don’t know if it's exactly the same, but I do my best thinking and imagining when I’m moving in some way. I end up doing a lot of planning for my stories while I’m walking, or when I’m in a moving vehicle (which has led to me having to assure people, over and over again, then I’m fine while in a bus or car–I’m just thinking).

I’ve learned to control my movements, because if I’m, say, thinking through a conversation between two characters in my head, I sometimes follow through with their gestures and stuff. People tend to stare when one does that.

Anyone else?

Stimming can help you stop a meltdown or recover from one, or may occur during one–it’s generally a repetitive movement done for comfort (though plenty of us stim out of happiness or excitement, too). Classic stims are things like rocking or flapping one’s hands, but a number of other behaviors count as well (I tend to like to rub satin ribbon).

The thing about defining a meltdown is that a) they’re not precisely the same for all of us and b) I suspect they change shape and form from childhood to adulthood.

How you meltdown depends entirely on you. You might get angry (this is common in children and is, sadly, often dismissed as tantrums), you might cry, you might scream, you might go completely numb. The most important factor and the thing that distinguishes a meltdown more than anything else, though, is this: You will not care what other people think about you while it’s happening.

This is very important for recognizing what a meltdown is to you. Me, I tend to cry (though in certain situations I cry until I get angry, at which point I often find the strength to get myself through, which is different from when I was younger) and I will sob my eyes out without noticing or caring that there are people all around me. 

In the end, a meltdown occurs when you’re so overwhelmed by something that you can’t handle it anymore, and the response is usually an outburst of emotion (but can be the complete absence of it). Knowing when you yourself are having an actual meltdown is going to take a bit of time and thought on your part. After the dust clears on a particularly emotional moment for you, look back at it. Were you somewhere others could see and didn’t care what they thought of your behavior? Even if you were alone, did it matter to you if someone saw you? Learning to recognize these things will tell you when you’re having a meltdown.