Asperger’s Syndrome Primer: How it Feels in My Head - A Guide for the Terminally Allistic

[Allistic Perception: Socially awkward people just use it as an excuse to be lazy.
Autistic Perception: OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT SOUND MAKE IT STOP need to stim now Oh YUCK texture bleh bus full of people CAN’T BREATHE hey check out everything I know about–ooo shiny is that person smiling at me is it a real smile or a smile-frown is a smrown?]
Because I just had to wake up to the continuation of this nonsense this morning.
Apparently some allistics simply can’t resist the belief that they know so much more about what it means to be autistic than actual autistic people. Of course, those of us who are autistic know that allistics would be hard-pressed to deal with the constant barrage of sensory perceptions, distractions, confusion, anxiety and fears we face on a daily basis.
So here, allistics, is a glimpse inside the general process of my brain. It doesn’t really slow down or shut up pretty much ever, and this is actually a pretty tame example, but baby steps. Clearly this lesson needs to be approached in small, bite-sized pieces of information for those of you who have yet to dislodge your heads from your asses.
(Hedgehogs, feel free to send your own examples. An AS diagnosis is not necessary–we’re all autistic here anyway, regardless. In fact, please send your own examples.)