Autistic Hedgehog

Actually, what I meant was that things in general, like diagnostic procedure, have gone to shit since I was diagnosed. My own story seems to be so very different from anything else I’ve heard, and it seems to me like understanding of autism has gone down since then, not up.

For example, I was surprised to learn that people have got it into their heads that Asperger’s Syndrome isn’t autism, because it was never explained to be as anything but. It seems, however, that that hasn’t been the case for a lot of people. I did receive therapy, but I’d never heard the phrase “quiet hands” before coming to Tumblr, and in fact I was in a group therapy that treated us like human beings. I would’ve thought there’d be more of that these days, but there appears to be less.

My hesitations with diagnosis for adult autistics comes from my experience in trying to find a new psychiatrist once I became an adult myself.

I was sent to a woman who had no idea what autism was. I had to explain it to her, and she proceeded to decide that I didn’t have it–she tried to remove my diagnosis without even knowing what the diagnosis meant. Someone who knew what autism is and had an expert understanding of it probably would’ve noticed that I literally could not look at her face by the end of the session. Not even faked eye contact, I could not look at her. That’s part of how my autism expresses itself–the less I like a person, the harder it is for me to look at them.

Admittedly, this woman was particularly bad. She also tried to dismiss my PTSD diagnosis because I’d never been caught in a tornado or seen someone raped and murdered (because, I guess, brutal bullying, parents committing suicide, and being raped oneself do not count as trauma). But she’s why I urge caution and research before seeking diagnosis as an adult. Awareness and knowledge of autism has not improved; it’s still viewed as something only children have and in many places adult psychiatrists have little to no knowledge of what it really entails.

I have very little way of knowing where the people who ask about diagnosis live and what their situation is like. If they’re in a situation where, due to expense or other circumstances, they can’t afford to keep trying if they meet an asshat like that woman, trying to get a diagnosis could just be stressful, expensive and useless. Thus, I say consider it carefully and do as much research as possible to find someone who knows how to diagnose autism in adults if you want a diagnosis. But if you’re not sure you want one or not convinced you need one, you may want to refrain or speak more to other people about it first.