Autistic Hedgehog
RSSCan never tell if I'm an "autism mom" or actually autistic. Both my sons are diagnosed on the spectrum, but I had no concept of autism before their diagnoses. My husband and I both feel like we are too, and that we were drawn to each other through that shared acceptance of being different. But we have learned to "pass" as neurotypical? I figured out what facial expressions meant I was hurting people's feelings when I was about 25. He doesn't speak much. Etc. I can pass. He can pass. (cont)
But where do we put ourselves in discussions of autism? We don’t plan on getting diagnoses. We are greatly helped by our kids’ therapy in dealing with our own sensory issues (now I understand my avoidance of certain lights and noise, needing to rock myself to calm down, etc). Would I offend someone with an actual diagnoses if I was both an Autism Mom and referred to myself as autistic without a diagnosis?
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Well, those who refer to themselves as Autism Moms (with capitals) are a somewhat specific group of people, and they can be a problematic bunch at times. That doesn’t mean you can’t identify as an Autism Mom if you so choose; just be aware that some autistics may have had bad experiences with them.
In fact, one of the big problems with Autism Moms is that they’re usually not autistic themselves, and autistic moms easily get excluded by them.
Generally, you’re going to find both autistic people who don’t mind self-diagnosis and those who do (you’ll find a fair few of the former here on Tumblr), and it’s in part a matter of finding the group that accepts how you choose to identify. As to where you put yourselves in discussions of autism…some of that is up to you and what you feel comfortable with. You may feel comfortable participating solely as the parents of autistic children, solely as autistic people, or as autistic parents. It might take some time to figure out what suits you.
And what you feel comfortable with might change, as well. As time goes by and you gain more knowledge and experience, you might find yourself feeling more comfortable and confident in other areas of discussion. That’s okay too.
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