Autistic Hedgehog

Health and Blog Update

So, it’s been a really long time since I’ve updated. I’m sorry, my fellow hedgies. My health has not been good and I’ve been struggling to deal with it.

A couple years ago I received a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I’m treating it as best I can, in the ways I know how, but it’s not easy and sadly they don’t hand out instruction manuals with diagnoses. I am in fact currently in the middle of a bit of a fibro flare, which means that despite my best efforts, I’ve been able to do very little but sleep the last few days.

It turns out I also have type 2 bipolar disorder. It really came to a head last year and I was in an extremely bad place. It didn’t help that thanks to a snafu with my psychiatrist, it was six months before I got to try a mood stabilizer. I’ve been on seroquel now for a little over half a year and I’m doing better, but it’s still difficult to navigate. 

There’s quite a lot of other stuff I’ve been dealing with but getting into that will turn this post into a novel. Suffice it to say life has not been kind to me.

I have not removed Autistic Hedgehog in all this time because I’ve always hoped to be able to return to it. Submissions are open. If you wish to post a meme, just sent me the text you want and I’ll make the meme image for you. That way I can keep track easier of which ones were actually sent to me.

The inbox is now open again too but please be aware that answers to complicated questions will likely be slow in coming. I’ll do my best, but some of the questions I get are really hard to answer, and not something I can handle on bad days. And unfortunately, I do have other things I need to use my good days for. But I will try to answer at least one of any of the really big questions every week.

Believe me, I haven’t forgotten any of you. I’m still proud of being able to help people with this blog, and I’m very much still here. It’s just taken a long time to get some semblance of control over my health. It’s still in flux, but I’m going to try my best.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: Warning about Disabled Skepchicks Blog and Call for Help

sherlocksflataffect:

autistichedgehog:

merinnan:

autistichedgehog:

Hedgehogs, I need your help. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that we need our help.

A few days ago, my husband brought to my attention that the popular skeptic blog Skepchick was planning a sister site for disabled people. This was apparently due to a kerfuffle (and from what I can tell, not the first one) over ableist language being used on the site. Excited at the prospect, I applied. Only the find out that the very first conversation in the comments went like this, verbatim:

Nancy: 

Hi Sara – what about a parent of one (or more) disabled/autistic children. Can they apply?

Thanks!

Nancy

Sarah: Hi Nancy! That’s a good question– I’d say apply & we’ll figure it out from there. :)

I’m sure I don’t have to explain to any one of you why this bothered me. But I spoke up, pointing out that autistics absolutely do not care to have parents speaking for us and even linking to the blog for Autistics Speaking Day. 

That post sat in the moderation queue for three days. When it finally appeared, no one responded to it. Not even Sarah, who is supposed to be running this site. I wrote another post, pointing out further why this lack of response was so upsetting. Aside from being accused of things I have not done and still having my concerns completely ignored, still I have not been properly responded to by the person who is supposed to be running the damn blog. Nothing. Not a word. As if my feelings and the feelings of autistics just don’t matter. I have, as you might imagine, withdrawn my application, because who wants to work with someone who doesn’t care enough about your feelings to respond to you?

So this blog is two things. First, it’s a warning. If this blog ever goes live, I caution you all to stay away from it. They haven’t even begun yet and already they’re showing oodles of ignorance when it comes to people with developmental and cognitive abilities and an utter lack of caring for our concerns. It very likely will not be a remotely safe or welcoming place.

The other thing is a call for help. Despite doing things like linking to Autistics Speaking Day, I’m being accused of speaking for all autistics, as if there aren’t actuallyhuge amounts of us who have very real issues with parents speaking for us. So I’m asking you, if you have the spoons, to please go there and tell them exactly how you feel about the idea:

http://skepchick.org/2014/02/disabled-write-for-us/

This warning and call for help is for every and any person with a cognitive or developmental disability, not just autistics. These people believe they have so much right to disagree with us that they can just ignore what we say.

Well, I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like I’m so little of a human being that my opinions don’t matter at all. Skepchick is a big enough site to do so much harm to our cause, and I refuse to sit here and let them do it.

I can’t tell you how much pain I’m in right now. I want to crawl in a hole and never stop crying. I want to sit on an island and watch the world burn. I can barely see for the tears. I’m scared, because I’m little and they’re big, and part of me knows I can’t win. But I can’t not fight, either. This blog has become too important to me. It’s helped me so much, and I know it’s helped other people. I can’t sit in silence while people who are not disabled like we are presume to make decisions for us. 

Because that’s happening every day and it’s hurting so many people. Even when I’m silent, even when I can’t cope, I watch. I see the things all of you talk about, the way you’re treated, how you fight and fight and people won’t listen and this…this was a chance for the truth to be heard, from our own mouths and our own fingers, and they don’t care. So I have to speak. I have to speak for all of us who have been abused, who have been killed. I have to speak because if I don’t, there’s no way to stop this cycle.

Help me tell them to stop the cycle. Please, I’m begging you, help me tell them that solidarity is not just for neurotypical people. That we are done letting other people speak for us. Please.

Despite being a long-term intermittant lurker on Skepchick, I never made an account to comment because, honestly, commenting on blogs I’m not 100% comfortable on freaks me out. And Skepchick, sadly, is one that I’m not 100% comfortable on exactly because of their history of massive fails on disability issues, particularly DD issues.

It looks like Skepchick is now being added to my ‘unsafe blogs to visit’ list. After reading through the comments thread, I’m honestly sick to my stomach at the blatant neuro-ableism, gaslighting, disrespect, unchecked privilege, willful ignorance, and dismissivenes displayed by Skepchick bloggers and commenters (particularly Sarah and Will) towards autistic people. 

To those of you with the spoons to keep trying to get through to these people, I wish you all the best and will be silently cheering you on. Sadly, given what I’ve seen displayed in that comments thread and Skepchick’s previous history, I can’t say that I’m confident about your chances (but I’m still your silent cheer squad!)

And in closing: neurotypical privilege is being allowed and encouraged to speak over neuroatypical people despite a policy of ‘outsiders’ not being allowed to speak for minorities that they’re not part of.

No kidding. I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved. The Almighty herself has shown up to tell me how “awful” and “ignorant” I am, for “assuming” they would treat developmentally disabled people poorly. Except that’s exactly what they were and are doing, so there you have it. 

Like people are straight up telling me they have a history of this behavior and I’ve seen nothing to indicate that isn’t true, and have been in fact treated horribly, and then I get treated even more horribly.

Rebecca Watson, ladies and gentlemen. The fucking anti-developmental disabilities Richard Dawkins. The universe loves her irony a bit too much, methinks. 

Oh hey so I was the person who initially called out their ableism. Which was really really bad, as was their able tears all over the place reaction. It wasn’t a “kerfuffle”. It was SKEPCHICK DONE FUCKED UP.

I wrote a thing about it, but it’s fairly vague bc I am still so triggered.

http://timetolisten.blogspot.com/2014/02/skepticisms-ableism-problem-again.html

But yeah, they’re looking for their Token Disabled Friend. And they’re being just horrendous and any self respecting disabled person would not want anything to do with it, it’d be being a token.

I just…my jaw is on the floor right now. Are you seriously telling me that it was an autistic person who called them out in the first place and that their “solution” to the problem…involved ignoring and gaslighting another autistic person? For reals? I mean, clearly it did, but holy shit, the cognitive dissonance is staggering right now.

I am so sorry you went through that. So, so sorry. I know from my own experience just how vicious and abusive they are, and it is awful, and I’m not surprised you’re still triggered. I’ve cried to the point of dehydration today.

People, you should read sherlocksflatafflect’s post there, definitely. Because holy shit, holy shit.

Meanwhile, Rebecca Watson is being a bully who refuses to allow any comments that don’t agree with her. 

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: Warning about Disabled Skepchicks Blog and Call for Help

merinnan:

autistichedgehog:

Hedgehogs, I need your help. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that we need our help.

A few days ago, my husband brought to my attention that the popular skeptic blog Skepchick was planning a sister site for disabled people. This was apparently due to a kerfuffle (and from what I can tell, not the first one) over ableist language being used on the site. Excited at the prospect, I applied. Only the find out that the very first conversation in the comments went like this, verbatim:

Nancy: 

Hi Sara – what about a parent of one (or more) disabled/autistic children. Can they apply?

Thanks!

Nancy

Sarah: Hi Nancy! That’s a good question– I’d say apply & we’ll figure it out from there. :)

I’m sure I don’t have to explain to any one of you why this bothered me. But I spoke up, pointing out that autistics absolutely do not care to have parents speaking for us and even linking to the blog for Autistics Speaking Day. 

That post sat in the moderation queue for three days. When it finally appeared, no one responded to it. Not even Sarah, who is supposed to be running this site. I wrote another post, pointing out further why this lack of response was so upsetting. Aside from being accused of things I have not done and still having my concerns completely ignored, still I have not been properly responded to by the person who is supposed to be running the damn blog. Nothing. Not a word. As if my feelings and the feelings of autistics just don’t matter. I have, as you might imagine, withdrawn my application, because who wants to work with someone who doesn’t care enough about your feelings to respond to you?

So this blog is two things. First, it’s a warning. If this blog ever goes live, I caution you all to stay away from it. They haven’t even begun yet and already they’re showing oodles of ignorance when it comes to people with developmental and cognitive abilities and an utter lack of caring for our concerns. It very likely will not be a remotely safe or welcoming place.

The other thing is a call for help. Despite doing things like linking to Autistics Speaking Day, I’m being accused of speaking for all autistics, as if there aren’t actuallyhuge amounts of us who have very real issues with parents speaking for us. So I’m asking you, if you have the spoons, to please go there and tell them exactly how you feel about the idea:

http://skepchick.org/2014/02/disabled-write-for-us/

This warning and call for help is for every and any person with a cognitive or developmental disability, not just autistics. These people believe they have so much right to disagree with us that they can just ignore what we say.

Well, I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like I’m so little of a human being that my opinions don’t matter at all. Skepchick is a big enough site to do so much harm to our cause, and I refuse to sit here and let them do it.

I can’t tell you how much pain I’m in right now. I want to crawl in a hole and never stop crying. I want to sit on an island and watch the world burn. I can barely see for the tears. I’m scared, because I’m little and they’re big, and part of me knows I can’t win. But I can’t not fight, either. This blog has become too important to me. It’s helped me so much, and I know it’s helped other people. I can’t sit in silence while people who are not disabled like we are presume to make decisions for us. 

Because that’s happening every day and it’s hurting so many people. Even when I’m silent, even when I can’t cope, I watch. I see the things all of you talk about, the way you’re treated, how you fight and fight and people won’t listen and this…this was a chance for the truth to be heard, from our own mouths and our own fingers, and they don’t care. So I have to speak. I have to speak for all of us who have been abused, who have been killed. I have to speak because if I don’t, there’s no way to stop this cycle.

Help me tell them to stop the cycle. Please, I’m begging you, help me tell them that solidarity is not just for neurotypical people. That we are done letting other people speak for us. Please.

Despite being a long-term intermittant lurker on Skepchick, I never made an account to comment because, honestly, commenting on blogs I’m not 100% comfortable on freaks me out. And Skepchick, sadly, is one that I’m not 100% comfortable on exactly because of their history of massive fails on disability issues, particularly DD issues.

It looks like Skepchick is now being added to my ‘unsafe blogs to visit’ list. After reading through the comments thread, I’m honestly sick to my stomach at the blatant neuro-ableism, gaslighting, disrespect, unchecked privilege, willful ignorance, and dismissivenes displayed by Skepchick bloggers and commenters (particularly Sarah and Will) towards autistic people. 

To those of you with the spoons to keep trying to get through to these people, I wish you all the best and will be silently cheering you on. Sadly, given what I’ve seen displayed in that comments thread and Skepchick’s previous history, I can’t say that I’m confident about your chances (but I’m still your silent cheer squad!)

And in closing: neurotypical privilege is being allowed and encouraged to speak over neuroatypical people despite a policy of ‘outsiders’ not being allowed to speak for minorities that they’re not part of.

No kidding. I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved. The Almighty herself has shown up to tell me how “awful” and “ignorant” I am, for “assuming” they would treat developmentally disabled people poorly. Except that’s exactly what they were and are doing, so there you have it. 

Like people are straight up telling me they have a history of this behavior and I’ve seen nothing to indicate that isn’t true, and have been in fact treated horribly, and then I get treated even more horribly.

Rebecca Watson, ladies and gentlemen. The fucking anti-developmental disabilities Richard Dawkins. The universe loves her irony a bit too much, methinks. 

I’m curious–as much as getting parents of autistic children to write in lieu of actually autistic people, they haven’t actually done anything wrong yet (they said to apply/think about it). I agree that disabled people need to get a voice in media, but wouldn’t it be good to ask people to apply to become a blogger, rather than just shut down the idea entirely? (sorry if I misunderstood your post)

————-

The blog is meant to be for and written by people with disabilities, and right in the FAQ they say that people without disabilities shouldn’t apply. Then the very first thing they do is turn around and agree to consider people without disabilities, in spite of myself (someone with the disability in question) and several others pointing out that we’re not comfortable with that. 

I explained in my own response why I didn’t think parents should be considered, and linked to the blog for Autistics Speaking Day to show that we can and do speak for ourselves just fine. That was never acknowledged. Not at all. By anyone. 

And if you read the comments, other people point out that this is not the first issue the site has had with regards to cognitive and developmental disabilities. I’ve seen mention that people speaking out against ableist language were simply dismissed as trolls, in fact. That’s not exactly a good track record, and the fact that no one will acknowledge concerns about this just makes it worse.

As well, they have a parenting blog already. If parents of autistics/disabled children have something to say, there is already a place for that. This was supposed to be a blog for disabled people, a place for us. To say people who aren’t disabled weren’t allowed, then immediately turn around and start considered exceptions, is not cool. Especially since it speaks of the sort of ignorance that people tend to have about autistics, that we can’t speak for ourselves. There are enough of us who can and do, who might be willing to apply, that there’s just no need for parents to even be a consideration at all. 

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: Warning about Disabled Skepchicks Blog and Call for Help

Hedgehogs, I need your help. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that we need our help.

A few days ago, my husband brought to my attention that the popular skeptic blog Skepchick was planning a sister site for disabled people. This was apparently due to a kerfuffle (and from what I can tell, not the first one) over ableist language being used on the site. Excited at the prospect, I applied. Only the find out that the very first conversation in the comments went like this, verbatim:

Nancy: 

Hi Sara – what about a parent of one (or more) disabled/autistic children. Can they apply?

Thanks!

Nancy

Sarah: Hi Nancy! That’s a good question– I’d say apply & we’ll figure it out from there. :)

I’m sure I don’t have to explain to any one of you why this bothered me. But I spoke up, pointing out that autistics absolutely do not care to have parents speaking for us and even linking to the blog for Autistics Speaking Day. 

That post sat in the moderation queue for three days. When it finally appeared, no one responded to it. Not even Sarah, who is supposed to be running this site. I wrote another post, pointing out further why this lack of response was so upsetting. Aside from being accused of things I have not done and still having my concerns completely ignored, still I have not been properly responded to by the person who is supposed to be running the damn blog. Nothing. Not a word. As if my feelings and the feelings of autistics just don’t matter. I have, as you might imagine, withdrawn my application, because who wants to work with someone who doesn’t care enough about your feelings to respond to you?

So this blog is two things. First, it’s a warning. If this blog ever goes live, I caution you all to stay away from it. They haven’t even begun yet and already they’re showing oodles of ignorance when it comes to people with developmental and cognitive abilities and an utter lack of caring for our concerns. It very likely will not be a remotely safe or welcoming place.

The other thing is a call for help. Despite doing things like linking to Autistics Speaking Day, I’m being accused of speaking for all autistics, as if there aren't actuallyhuge amounts of us who have very real issues with parents speaking for us. So I’m asking you, if you have the spoons, to please go there and tell them exactly how you feel about the idea:

http://skepchick.org/2014/02/disabled-write-for-us/

This warning and call for help is for every and any person with a cognitive or developmental disability, not just autistics. These people believe they have so much right to disagree with us that they can just ignore what we say.

Well, I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of being treated like I’m so little of a human being that my opinions don’t matter at all. Skepchick is a big enough site to do so much harm to our cause, and I refuse to sit here and let them do it.

I can’t tell you how much pain I’m in right now. I want to crawl in a hole and never stop crying. I want to sit on an island and watch the world burn. I can barely see for the tears. I’m scared, because I’m little and they’re big, and part of me knows I can’t win. But I can’t not fight, either. This blog has become too important to me. It’s helped me so much, and I know it’s helped other people. I can’t sit in silence while people who are not disabled like we are presume to make decisions for us. 

Because that’s happening every day and it’s hurting so many people. Even when I’m silent, even when I can’t cope, I watch. I see the things all of you talk about, the way you’re treated, how you fight and fight and people won’t listen and this…this was a chance for the truth to be heard, from our own mouths and our own fingers, and they don’t care. So I have to speak. I have to speak for all of us who have been abused, who have been killed. I have to speak because if I don’t, there’s no way to stop this cycle.

Help me tell them to stop the cycle. Please, I’m begging you, help me tell them that solidarity is not just for neurotypical people. That we are done letting other people speak for us. Please.

Still Alive. Kinda.

You may have noticed that I’ve answered a few questions today. Something that I said I was going to do quite a while ago. Well, I certainly thought I was going to.

The first two months of 2014 had other ideas. Very shortly after I started feeling better in December, I got worse again. I started having a great deal of back pain, which brought along depression and sleep deprivation. It was a pretty vicious cycle. The back pain causes both more depression and more sleep deprivation, the sleep deprivation caused more back pain, etc. etc.

Last month the sleep deprivation got really bad. We got a new pillow for me and that aspect, at least, is mostly sorted. I’m almost feeling human, but I’m still dealing with a lot of pain in my back and neck. We’ve tried every trick in the book, just about, and it won’t go away. I’m hoping my visit with the chiropractor tomorrow helps.

I will be answering questions as I can, but I don’t think it’s fair to promise any sort of consistency right now. I just have no idea what the year is going to throw at me next. It might be I’ll be fine, but there’s just no way of knowing. But AH is not dead. I know a lot of blogs of this sort have gone away or gotten very inactive, and I know we need a place where it’s safe for us to be prickly, and I’ll make AH that place for as long as I can.