Autistic Hedgehog

[“If you remove the ’re’ then ‘tard’ isn’t offensive anymore!”

So does removing the 'bas’ make 'go fuck yourself right off a cliff, you ignorant bastard’ less offensive too?]

Somehow, I doubt the answer would be 'yes’.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABLEISM LIKE WHOA: This site…This is so unspeakably vile. Here I am, supposed to be in bed, trying to get myself to relax because medication + other medication + overactive adrenaline = buzzing brain, and then I see this in my feed. 

This is why we want you to STFU, allistic people. Because this person–this person who works with these children every day–sees nothing wrong with calling them 'tards’ and ridiculing them on the internet. And I don’t give a flying spiky fuck what their FAQs try to claim, anyone who thinks lumping all children in special classes (some of whom they straight up admit only have behavioral problems) as 'tards’ is in any way acceptable is an ableist rat bastard.

This is what we deal with all the time. This is how the people who are supposed to care for us and help us treat us. Like a big fucking joke. Like we’re not worth trying to understand, we’re just stressful horror shows that you need to laugh at to feel better. This is not an acceptable way to treat human beings. Period.

And really, where do they get off calling other people tards when they try to explain a word from an entomological perspective. Man, but that bugs me.

(I know, I know, I shouldn’t pun, but it’s late and I’m angry and wired and ohhhh–I need to go try to calm down.)

[Anyone who tries to rewire my brain

Is going to die a very bloody death]

I’m sure most of you have seen this by now. Seriously, scientists, doctors, all y'all medical peeps: Back the fuck off. 

Here’s the thing, right. There are definitely aspects of my autism that I wouldn’t mind alleviating somewhat. Certainly there are aspects that I hope, with some work and real research, we can learn to alleviate for all autistics. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s frustrated by the sheer amount of things I can’t eat because OMIGOD NOES texture get it away from me!

But with everything I’ve seen lately, I don’t trust people. I don’t trust them to understand what parts of me are valuable. I don’t trust them to understand that even the more problematic aspects of autism wouldn’t bother me half as much if other people were more tolerant and flexible. I certainly don’t trust them with the task of rewiring brains, especially on people who aren’t yet old enough to understand and appreciate their brains. 

There are so many aspects of my autistic brain that I love and value, despite the hardships it’s brought me. I don't want to see the world the way allistics do. I mean, no offense guys, seriously, but in spite of all the problems, it’s more interesting in here. I like it, my terror of social spaces and public transportation notwithstanding. And I simply don’t trust The Powers That Be to understand and respect that. I don’t trust them to allow me the autonomy to make my own decisions, to accept that I can make my own decisions.

Until I can trust them, they need to stay far, far away from me with their metaphorical ice picks. (Sorry for the ramble, I just have so many feels about this.)