Autistic Hedgehog

(p2) strictly to autism, just in life in general. I would always prefer someone to ask exactly what they want or what they are curious about or if I do or do not want something.

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Honesty and straightforwardness generally is preferable to me, as well, and under most circumstances I really just want people to say what they mean.

Though, in terms of things that are autism-specific, I don’t like it when people use it as an excuse to poke and pry, either. Asking if something offends me is one thing, but going through a laundry list of possibilities one right after the other tends to feel a bit skeevy. 

I know there’s Queerability which deals in queerness and disability, for starters. It’s not just about autism but autism is one of the disabilities covered.

As to whether I have gay followers…I’d be downright shocked if I didn’t, actually. Every now and then someone goes into the autism tag and asks if there are any other LGBTQ+ autistics, and it so happens there are a lot of us. I’m bisexual myself. 

Any of my followers know of any good blogs or forums or the like?

My mom did me the unfortunate service of not telling me until some years after my diagnosis; had I been, oh, three when I was diagnosed, this wouldn’t be so bad, but I was nine, and she waited until I’d been badly bullied for some time to tell me. So I think it’s good that you’re talking to your kids about it and that you’re open to them asking questions about it.

I really wish my mom had been willing to learn more about it, and helped me learn, and I hope you’ll take the opportunity to do that with your children. There will be struggles and self-doubt and all manner of questions as the years go by, and it will be so much easier for them and you if they always know they can turn to you, that you’ll be there to help them. If you find yourself explaining again, a little in the future, about their autism, don’t be surprised; it may take time for them to fully absorb what that means. But your understanding and willingness to help and learn will make the road all the smoother.

That, I think, is what I would have wanted. Not someone with all the answers, as such, but someone who would be there to help me find the answers. 

Hedgehogs, what say ye?

Testing doesn’t always come out with the right answer, so if you really feel you need it, by all means, try again. It may be that you just ended up in the hands of people who weren’t very good at their job, and if you’re really having problems, you shouldn’t ignore them. Mistakes get made and, unfortunately, when it comes to autism, even the so-called experts can be really ignorant. 

I prefer to be called autistic or an autistic person. I’ve addressed my feelings on the matter on my blog as well as addressed one of the major issues of how allistic people use it here.

To be clear, this is my personal preference; what other autistics choose is purely up to them. 

My opinion is that this doctor is ignorant, ought to be fired, and you should definitely seek a second opinion, preferably from someone who doesn’t need both hands and a road map to find his own ass. 

In point of fact, people with Aspergers are very often diagnosed later in life, specifically because it’s perceived by allistic people as being a higher-functioning form of autism. Far from being “so severe that it’s obvious,” it won’t necessarily express as strongly at a young age; the signs can be more subtle and easily missed, especially in children designated female at birth, because autism “science” is a hotbed of cissexism and gender essentialism. 

I was diagnosed when I was nine. There are a number of people on Tumblr with an AS diagnosis that were diagnosed around that age or even later, sometimes much later—especially since AS only went down in the DSM in 1994. I couldn’t have been diagnosed AS at one because the diagnosis didn’t officially exist when I was one, and that goes for many, many Aspies or just those with some form of autism considered “high-functioning.”

It’s really sad and frightening to me that I feel like I, someone without training or even a complete college education, could do this job better than the people supposedly trained to do it. 

“Neurotypical as fuck” here. Just wanted to add that I love my friend not “in spite of” her autism but really *because* of it. It’s a fundamental part of her personality and she wouldn’t be *her* without it. And losing *any* part of her would be absolutely unbearable. She’s one of the people I love most and I would never *ever* want to take away part of what makes her *her*. A$ is full of *despicable* people who want to change someone I love. She doesn’t *need* changing. She’s awesome.

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Well, there may be those who will take it offensively. We’re all different, and some of us more easily get when something is meant figuratively rather than literally. You’ll also find that some of us get it most of the time but not all the time, or half the time, or any combination. Since a lot of us are exposed to the internet these days and various forms of “whatever as fuck” I think you’ll find that most autistics understand what you mean, but it’s hard to know for sure ahead of time. 

If you’re really concerned that you might hurt someone’s feelings, err on the side of caution and try to only use it around your friend. If you do find yourself in a situation where you’ve offended someone with it, apologize. While I do think the majority of us will get what you mean (we really are so many levels of spectra, and that includes things like literalness and sexuality) a little care for our feelings doesn’t hurt. 

I’ve heard of a fair few autistics that have that problem. For me, when I do have it, it seems to be more related to my ADHD. But it’s not unusual, and it certainly doesn’t make you stupid. 

That is one of the unfortunate things about the way society pathologizes us. If having a brain that doesn’t always function properly makes a person “stupid” than the entire population of this planet is “stupid,” because no one’s brain is perfect. My husband has a terrible time with his memory, for example. And human brains act in a lot of ways to deceive us, distorting our perception especially under the influence of strong emotions.

Something that happened to me the first year I lived in Sweden: We live on the fourth floor and our windows have no screens, so we’re open to everything if we want to open them in the summer. I could hear something flapping around in the kitchen, and I got up to go investigate. As soon as I was out in the hall, a swift came pelting out of the kitchen towards me. In my state of high adrenaline, not only did it look much larger than it actually was, but for a moment I thought it was a bat. Now, it was broad daylight so of course it wasn’t a bat, but the thought went through my head.

Not because I’m stupid or anything like that, but because I was full of adrenaline and fear, and that affected my perception of what was happening. That is the nature of the brain.

Whatever causes you to have this problem, you’re not alone. Not only are you not unusual as an autistic person, but you’re not unusual as a person, and you’re not stupid. 

I haven’t seen either movie, though I’ve seen bits and pieces of Rain Main (hooray, TV syndication?). But I have reservations about both of them.

It’s true that, back when it first came out, Rain Man was actually a positive thing for autism awareness, and Temple Grandin is (obviously) based on a real person, so that ought to be positive as well. But real understanding of autism hasn’t come. Instead, people with autism are generally broken into Rain Mans and Temple Grandins, and the lack of other media representation than those two images of autism has been harmful. Instead of being the positive force they could have been, I feel like both movies help contribute to the lack of nuance in popular views of autism.

This isn’t really the fault of the movies themselves, per se. The fault lies in media itself. Rarely do autistic characters appear unless they’re in stories dealing solely with their issues, and usually then from the perspective of their “poor, burdened” families. On the rare occasions that I have seen autistic characters in media in ways that aren’t all about Issues, they’re either stereotypes, or not canonically acknowledged as autistic. 

That makes it very difficult for such movies to have a positive impact and they often end up having a negative one, however inadvertently. But again, it’s less a problem with the movies themselves as it is with society, and it’s a problem that has to stop. But because of those problems, I can’t help but have reservations about Rain Man and Temple Grandin, because I know what will most likely come of ignorant people seeing them: more ignorance. 

(This is also, incidentally, another reason why I’m writing a book with an autistic main character. I want a chance to get a very different representation of autistics out into the mainstream media and well, if you want a job done right, often you’ve got to do it yourself.)

I don’t think so. Echolalia seems to be more about echoing other people rather than just echoing yourself. But echolalia has never really been much of a symptom of mine, so I’m not as knowledgeable about it as some other autistics.

I will say that I can and do get into states where I do the same thing, particularly states of high stress or other emotional turmoil. I’m not exactly sure what causes the impulse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if other autistics experience it too.