Autistic Hedgehog

[“Katy Perry sang with an autistic girl? She has such a beautiful soul!”

Yes, how arduous, singing with an autistic girl who knows how to sing. She puts Jesus to shame. Quick, guys, let’s canonize her.]

Whoa, hey, look at that, allistic people, sarcasm! Real live, dripping-scorn-like-a-hot-cinnamon-roll-drips-icing sarcasm. Gosh, it’s almost like autistics are real people who deserve better than to be showcased on a TV show like those animals the ASPCA puts on display whenever they’re trying to find homes for them! It’s–it’s almost like we’re individuals or something! Like, you know, some of us are good at certain things and some of us aren’t, kind of like every other freakin’ person on the planet.

———

Okay, we’re now below the sarcasm line. Everything below this line is straight talk.

So I’m sure by now a number of you have seen this whole Night of Too Many Allistics Stars thing and I know from looking at the tags that some of you have watched it. So send me your NoTMS related hedgehogs! Please?

pretty please?

No, seriously, I am straight up getting a little desperate here, trying to think up all these hedgehogs on my own. And anyway, I’m on the wrong side of the planet to even be able to watch NoTMS, so I need some help on this one. So really, please, if you have a bit of time, send me a hedgehog or two.

[Ill-informed allistic who loves Autism $peaks?

There’s an app for that!]

Yes, I am totally serious. 

I even went on iTunes to see for myself, and sure enough, it’s there. What would you even do with such an app? Track how much money Autism $peaks is wasting?

Get the latest updates on Jenny McCarthy’s bullshit “cures”?

Maybe they have something that keeps track of how many autistic people are on their staff. I mean, with a number that low, you wouldn’t hardly have to use any resources at all! 

(On iTunes there was also a reggae song entitled Autism Speaks. I have no idea if it’s associated with the organization–it does use their colors–but I listen to the preview and uh…I’m just going to try to pretend that never happened.)

[“Autistic people don’t like my offensive autism joke? You r****ds!”

Wait, which one of us lacks empathy again?]

Some days I feel like a broken record, but honestly, it needs to be said. Especially since I was the one who censored the r-word; not the asshole in question. I keep seeing shit like this pop up in the autism tag and somehow, despite us being the ones without empathy, other people never seem to get that this stuff hurts. 

[Cry harder, allistic asshole.

I don’t give a fuck.]

Courtesy of goldenheartedrose. I really felt this ought to be a hedgehog, because there are those days, you know? And I think we can find someone this applies to today, can’t we? 

[“Autistic people don’t see others as sentient beings.”

Oh no, I can tell you’re sentient, on account of how you won’t shut up.]

This is in reference to the same post mentioned in the previous hedgehog. 

Seriously, anyone who thinks such things needs to just fuck off now. We are the ones generally not seen as sentient.

[Congratulations on being the first allistic person

I find more disgusting than Jenny McCarthy]

TRIGGER WARNING: Ableism, eugenics, overall jaw-dropping D-colon fuckery.

In regards to this. Seriously guys, I am NOT kidding with that trigger warning, it is bad, bad, bad. 

I just can’t even right now with this shit.

[Allistic person being even bigger asshole than usual

Goes into full on porcupine mode]

Because sometimes I am done being cute but kinda spiky. Sometimes it is all painful spikes all the time. Hedgehogs only get spiky when you irritate them. Porcupines would hate you to death if they could.

—

Just to add, I have questions in the inbox to answer, and I will get to them. Technically I should have my Chrome closed and not even be looking at anything right now, because I’m supposed to be finishing up my current manuscript. That’s why it’s been quiet and why I haven’t gotten my responses done; I'm supposed to be working. 

The last couple of years there has been this whole issue with my ADHD and living situation and medication and–well, I don’t want to bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that work has been taking me way longer than it ever should, and now that I’m almost at the end I need to behave myself and get my work done first. I’ll go back to attempting to do that, and then I’ll get the inbox cleared up, I promise.

And I will try not to get too overwhelmed in the meantime. D: