Autistic Hedgehog

[“You go to conventions and enjoy them? You can’t be autistic!”

So wait, which do I stop spending my money on? The cons or the noise-dampening headphones?]

Admittedly, the last time I was at a convention, the noise and crowds were too much for me to handle. This doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself at all, but I had no way to combat the issues I did have. Thinking about it, I figure noise-dampening headphones would be a pretty good way to get around some of the issues that crowded con halls might cause, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find some autistics do just that so they can enjoy their cons without so much overstimulation.

Which, I think, would lead to some confusion when it comes to this particular statement. Which one are you supposed to give up!? (That was not a serious question, I’m being facetious.)

[“You have children? You can’t be autistic!

Quick, help me figure out how to get them back in!]

I don’t actually have children (though there are plenty of autistic people who do) nor do I want them. But in a circumstance where I did have children (presuming, naturally, that I wanted them) this is my most likely reaction to such a ridiculous statement. I’m a smartass like that. 

[“You’re married? You can’t be autistic!

Whoops, guess I’d better go get a divorce then.]

So today, this [Trigger warning!] happened. (I’ve linked to my reblog, because people like this are notorious cowards who constantly delete their bullshit.)

I and a number of other autistic people on Tumblr and elsewhere, in all walks of life, are married. Yet according to this ill-informed windbag, this means we can’t have actual autism, but apparently some mystical form of Asperger’s Syndrome that basically does nothing at all, and thus we’re all just making excuses. 

I’d like to make hedgehogs for every item on their list of things that mean we can’t actually be autistic (in fact, I have several lined up) so hopefully I can come up with enough ideas. And if you have ideas of your own, please send them. Please? 

[“Students with autism gravitate toward STEM majors.”

And what about the other 66% of us?]

So this article has been floating around the autism tag for the past several days now. STEM majors, for those who don’t know, are science, technology, engineering and mathematics–you know, all those things Hollywood and “experts” like Simon Baron-Cohen seem to be convinced all autistics are good at.

The headline makes it sounds like this is HUGE news. But if one actually reads the article, one will see that the number is roughly 34% (autistics) versus roughly 23% (allistics) (see, Baron-Cohen, I rounded the numbers up and down! Whoo hoo, math genius, right here! *snort*). 

Thirty-four percent isn’t even half. It’s a minority of us. Where’s the study on what the rest of us like to do with ourselves? I mean, not that I think it’s going to come out of Simon Baron-Cohen (the co-author of this paper) because he seems to aim to study only topics that will confirm his pet hypotheses for him. 

What bothers me is how many people will see the headline, not actually read the article, and think they’ve learned something significant about autistics. You know they will. And then next thing you know one of us is sitting with the family at Thanksgiving and Auntie Esther is all “Why don’t you become a scientist? That’s what autistic people do. All the studies say so!” Blargh.

[It’s not a symptom

It’s a personality trait]

Now would you get the fuck over it and stop pathologizing every single fucking thing we do? Sometimes a hobby really is just a hobby. 

elisdraws:

a hedgehog

Ayup.

(Thanks to deathtasteslikechicken for the heads up on this one. I just wanted to reblog it from the original source so it was clear where it was coming from.)

autisticallythor:

THIS HEDGEHOG, I LIKE IT… ANOTHER!

(I SUPPORT BARBED AUTISTIC ERINACEOMORPH SELF-ADVOCACY.)

***

(In reference to this post and the blog it’s from)

Thor and hedgehog is my headcanon now and it looks like this video.

(The best part? When the hedgehog has a little freakout, the owner rocks it to calm it down. Perfect.)

autisticallythor:

autistichedgehog:

autisticallythor:

autistichedgehog:

[“Ohmigod my sibling has autism! Why, cruel world, why!? They are so beautiful and they have a beautiful soul and they’re like, so beautiful! How could life do this to me? Whatever will I do now!?”

Here’s a suggestion: Shut up, get over yourself, and stop making this about you]

I know I can’t be the only person who’s getting tired of these. Even when someone means well, it gives me such a headache. Look, allistic people: There are other things you can do than just flapping around like chickens with your heads cut off. Panicking and making assumptions about what this means for your autistic sibling/child/etc. is bad enough.

Panicking and making assumptions about what this means for you is just kind of insensitive. 

I can remember a few times when parents of autistic children contacted me on some website or another, wondering things about autism. Among other things, I would usually tell them that autistic children can learn, that all is not lost and their kids can probably live good lives. I never heard back from any of them, not even a thank you for my time taken responding. 

It’s like people don’t want to hear that all is not lost. Like they want to believe it’s all doom and gloom, so they can recline back on their drama couches, staple their hands to their foreheads, and whine about how cruel life is. Allistics, get your butts off the drama couch and educate yourselves. You can even start with the askanautistic tag right here on tumblr if you want some real insight into us. 

I DO NOT MEAN TO MOCK MY FELLOW ALLIES

BUT THIS SMALL BARBED RODENT SPEAKS THE TRUTH

WE ALLIES MUST REMEMBER THAT ALTHOUGH OUR OWN EMOTIONS ARE VALID: TRULY ALLYSHIP IS AIDING AND CONSIDERING OTHERS FIRST, NOT OURSELVES. LET US NEVER FORGET THIS!

Pssst. Thor? Uh, no offense big guy, loved you to bits in the movies, but I’m an Erinaceomorph, not a rodent. I’m about as closely related to your average rodent as an elephant is to a dog. Very important to know if I’m ever over for dinner. Rodents are very opportunistic eaters; I’m an insectivore. 

(Sorry, couldn’t help myself. XD And “experts” say autistic folks have no sense of humor.)

I APOLOGISE, BARBED ERINACEOMORPH. I WILL ENDEAVOUR TO AVOID MISLABELLING YOU IN THE FUTURE. PERHAPS I CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU WITH THE DINNER YOU MENTIONED?

(Pfft. No sense of humour, indeed! Also, Erinaceomorph? I guess you learn something new everyday.)

(Okay but seriously, am I the only one imagining this now? Like Thor having dinner with a hedgehog? And the hedgehog is all like “Try the crickets, they’re fabulous!” Is it just me?)