Autistic Hedgehog

I Want to Make Something Abundantly Clear

To any anons who want to waltz in here and try to tell me how to behave, how to think, how to feel, how to act when people oppress me with their words, their behavior, their very ideas:

You are not starting a conversation, you’re attempting to bully and gaslight me. And I will not stand forit.

If you think for a second that I will bow and fold because you call me “mean” for standing up for myself, you’ve got another think coming. If you think you can guilt me into walking on egg shells and being nice to my abusers by telling me to take the highroad, you are enormously misguided.

And if you think–if you imagine for the smallest second–that I will let you bully, gaslight and guilt trip my followers, you’re going to find out just how prickly this particular hedgehog can be; That which does not kill me makes me meaner, and trust me, over the years, a lot of things have tried.

I’ve dealt with plenty of bullies. I went through bully hell and came out the other side, and you don’t scare me. I know that intimidates you. The idea of marginalized people standing up for themselves terrifies you. And if you’re going to hang around my blog to sling around anon hate, I suggest you get used to terror. I will never, ever stop defending myself against you. Ever.

Posted 2 years ago

29 notes

autism, actually autistic, actuallyautistic, anon hate, hate, ableism, bullying, bullies, mama hedgehog, mama hedgehog isn't scared of you,

I know that physical violence is wrong, but I’ve found that it’s the only way to get people to respect my boundaries. I feel terrible for enforcing personal space rules with threats of hitting people, but I don’t know what else to do. I need people to not touch me, and when I tell them “don’t touch me”, it just makes them do it more.

Anonymous

I’m going to say something here that might be a bit controversial, but I think it needs to be said.

It’s true that in most situations, avoiding violence is best. But we should never forget that the idea that violence is wrong is often used as a tool of oppressors to keep people oppressed. Think about it: People are perpetrating violence (and yes, it is violence) against you, yet you’re the one feeling guilty. Because so many of us live in a society so twisted that many types of violence against people are accepted and normalized, but standing up for oneself is demonized. Especially when you’re someone that someone else wants to keep oppressed.

You shouldn’t let people convince you that standing up for yourself is wrong. You shouldn’t let people convince you to tolerate touching you don’t want. It may be that threats of violence will be the only thing you can do with some people (violence was the only thing that worked against bullies in school) but let’s see if we can’t find something you are more comfortable with that will work on most people.

First of all, if you’re dealing in people you know won’t seriously harm you, you could try a threat of much lesser violence: pinching. You may have to follow through on it with some people, but most people really don’t like being pinched and if you feel like it’ll make someone back off (and make you feel less guilty) give it a try.

Something my husband suggested was carrying a small water gun with you and squirting people with it when they touch you against your will (it does often work on cats, after all). Again, since this is probably going to annoy people, be careful who you use it on and you should probably give anyone you do use it on a warning first.

You can also try saying “Ow” really loudly or screaming like you’re in pain, or something similar. Something that will make other people feel uncomfortable and guilty—which they should.

Whatever you try, always keep your own safety in mind. And though it can be hard, avoid those kind of people whenever you can. People who have so little respect for your feelings that they touch you against your will are not good people. Even when it’s family, such behavior is toxic. You’re not the one at fault here; they are.

(If anyone has any further suggestions or knows some nonviolent techniques that work in these situations, please send them to my inbox.)

Rebloggable by request

Posted 3 years ago

21 notes

autism, actually autistic, actuallyautistic, violence, consent, bullies, bullying, Autism Problems, Unwanted touching,

I know that physical violence is wrong, but I've found that it's the only way to get people to respect my boundaries. I feel terrible for enforcing personal space rules with threats of hitting people, but I don't know what else to do. I need people to not touch me, and when I tell them "don't touch me", it just makes them do it more.

Anonymous

I’m going to say something here that might be a bit controversial, but I think it needs to be said.

It’s true that in most situations, avoiding violence is best. But we should never forget that the idea that violence is wrong is often used as a tool of oppressors to keep people oppressed. Think about it: People are perpetrating violence (and yes, it is violence) against you, yet you’re the one feeling guilty. Because so many of us live in a society so twisted that many types of violence against people are accepted and normalized, but standing up for oneself is demonized. Especially when you’re someone that someone else wants to keep oppressed.

You shouldn’t let people convince you that standing up for yourself is wrong. You shouldn’t let people convince you to tolerate touching you don’t want. It may be that threats of violence will be the only thing you can do with some people (violence was the only thing that worked against bullies in school) but let’s see if we can’t find something you are more comfortable with that will work on most people.

First of all, if you’re dealing in people you know won’t seriously harm you, you could try a threat of much lesser violence: pinching. You may have to follow through on it with some people, but most people really don’t like being pinched and if you feel like it’ll make someone back off (and make you feel less guilty) give it a try.

Something my husband suggested was carrying a small water gun with you and squirting people with it when they touch you against your will (it does often work on cats, after all). Again, since this is probably going to annoy people, be careful who you use it on and you should probably give anyone you do use it on a warning first.

You can also try saying “Ow” really loudly or screaming like you’re in pain, or something similar. Something that will make other people feel uncomfortable and guilty–which they should.

Whatever you try, always keep your own safety in mind. And though it can be hard, avoid those kind of people whenever you can. People who have so little respect for your feelings that they touch you against your will are not good people. Even when it’s family, such behavior is toxic. You’re not the one at fault here; they are.

(If anyone has any further suggestions or knows some nonviolent techniques that work in these situations, please send them to my inbox.)

Posted 3 years ago

12 notes

autism, actually autistic, actuallyautistic, Autism Problems, autism spectrum disorder, violence, consent, unwanted touching, bullies,

Autistic Hedgehog

Posts tagged with "bullies"

I Want to Make Something Abundantly Clear